he actually said it

I went to the grocery store today.  Right after my 8am, looking and feeling pretty ratchet, I was ready to buy myself some guacamole and some moose tracks and head my merry way.

Naturally, I started in the produce section.  Gotta get that guac.  I recognized the produce stocking dude.  Last week he had teased me for the quantity of grapefruit I had purchased, but he was nice enough.  However, I made the mistake.

I made eye contact.

And I'm not sure what about that accidental glance from across the lanes of produce communicated, but I was just interested in bagging my apples and heading to the frozen section ASAP for my moose tracks.  Produce guy was not having any of my ice cream vibes though.

He beelined for my aisle, and without breaking pace he looked me straight in the face, gave me the "sup" nod, and accompanied this ritual by adding: 

To which I smoothly replied:

... before shuffling off towards the frozen foods aisle. 

I will add, though, that whilst he was preoccupied stacking the potatoes, I got a free sample of some excellent pineapple from the sweet older guy behind the produce counter.  He sold me a package of fresh pineapple, kiwi, and mango.  Overall, I felt very healthy with my basket full of guacamole, apples, and assorted tropical fruit.

But you better know I still got them moose tracks. 

dream team

Many of you know that us Mabry twins are prone to having strange and vivid dreams.  From time to time we share these stories with the Facebook universe, and several people have given feedback saying that they find them amusing and would like to read more.  I thought I'd collect the few of mine that I could find and compile them here in my blog.

Also, I shall issue a challenge to my beloved twin Maris to do the same on her blog, because her dreams are seriously the best thing on the internet on any given day.

So, here they are, in no particular order: my bizarre subconscious.

Also, last but not least, this final gem featuring a gloriously perfect comment 

(creds to Samuel).

expectations vs. reality

Several months back, I prayed a prayer.  

I don't have a strong prayer life and I don't pretend to, but I had gotten to the point where I knew I had a problem with recognizing specific sins in my life, and had grown proud because of it.  So, in my own clumsy way and after trying to solve my own problems by myself, I finally turned to God for help.  I asked Him to humiliate me.  And yes, I know that sounds weird, especially because here and now we mostly associate the verb "humiliate" with embarrassment and not with it's noun, humility.  I asked God to make my wretched condition apparent to me, and that I might recognize my sins in order to fully move forward in a pursuit of a humble spirit.  

Which sounds all lovely and spiritual and upright, until you realize my attitude when I prayed said prayer.  

Basically, this was my expectation:

Yeaaaaahhhhhhhh that's how stuck up I am.  And whether I really was expecting God to let me off the hook or that's just all I was mentally and spiritually prepared for, either way the reality hit me and is continuing to hit me pretty hard.

Behold, the reality of how God responds when His children are snooty as heck.

Think God can't call you a piece of crap?  He's the only one that knows that calling me a piece of crap is a term of endearment compared to what I really am.  Isaiah 64:6 compares even our finest deeds to "filthy rags", so it's probably generous that the full disgusting details of our sinful nature can't be summarized in mere words.  Little mercies.

One would think that I might have absorbed a little ounce of humility after that slight revelation, but no.  I still held unrealistic and impossibly proud expectations.  After all, it's all cake and ice cream once God tells you you're a miserable human sinner, right?

Expectation:

Reality:

So yes, I've been stuck in a highly doubtful, insecure, tiny-violin-pity-party for a while now.  And the worse part is I've still only seen a fraction of all the problems I have.  I know there's more to come, and that God will continue to humble me with His greatness and my faults.  

At this point a lot of people would wrap up the post with a conclusive "I've just gotta keep trusting God and moving forward in my daily walk with Him!"

That would be great if I got to that point.  But honestly I kinda skipped right over that whole closure and spiritual peace thing and went straight to being frustrated and discouraged with God.

My problem is that I'm lazy and I end up complaining a lot about not being close to God.  I don't do what I know I need to be doing to encourage a stronger relationship with my God.  And you know what?  God knows it.

Basically there's no great way to end this post.  I felt like sharing some frustrations I've been going through, but I also knew that I needed to advertise the fact that I'm still in a pretty crumby place with God.  This isn't a spiritual brag, because if you actually spend two seconds with me you'll clearly be able to see that I still struggle with pride and false expectations about myself, my God, and everyone around me.  I haven't successfully practiced humility yet, and it's not something that will ever come naturally to me.  However, I can say that God has showed me a glimpse of what humility looks like.  It's not always smiles and "my pleasure" and cheerful consideration.  Sometimes it's looking at yourself and knowing that you deserve nothing but have been given everything.

So if you think of it, please pray for me.  I really need strength to grow in Christ, and I'm a sucker for distractions and procrastination.  I know that's not a very noble or sentimental way to end a blog post, but we've already established that I'm hopelessly flawed so let's just roll with it.

the nerd awakens

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.

Maybe.  I dunno.  Not really spoilers, but I still wouldn't risk it.  JUST GO SEE THE NEW STAR WARS MOVIE OKAY.

Yesterday I had the immense privilege of going to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens with a group of friends.  I also had the immense privilege of being with Samuel, who graciously elected to sit next to me, despite the risk of being involuntarily slapped in the arm throughout the entire movie.

I will say, as far as theatrical landmarks go, this is the first movie I've ever eaten a salad whilst watching.  We had picked up lunch before the show and smuggled the food into the theater.  The lettuce was particularly crunchy and I just hoped the rest of the theater thought I was eating very crispy popcorn.

I LIKE VEGGIES OKAY.

Moving on.  I'd apologize for my lack of ability to draw theater seating but let's face it, it's just about as bad as everything else so let's just deal with it, shall we?

Observe the lettuce incident:

(That's supposed to be Samuel next to me by the way)

The rest of the movie basically just went as follows:

And by the end...

Guys, what can I say about this film.  It was just so so so good.  Probably the best movie I've seen this year, and I was pretty into Jurassic World when it came out in the summer.  My inner and outer nerd is very satisfied.  Job well done, and you really need to see it.  And if you already have, just go see it again.

Additionally, as I am typing this I noticed that my darling sister has pounced upon my bedroom once again with one of her picture-hiding schemes.  She has delicately taped a photo to the bottom of my bookshelf so that I can only see it when I sit down at my desk.  I have acquired said photo for your personal enjoyment:

My sister is a very beautiful individual.  

Happy nerding everyone!  

oh, hey break

I have been released.  Fall finals for my junior year of college are now in the books (jk... I don't get grades back until next week probably) and I have a few weeks just to take a breather between semesters.  Yesterday was basically a whirlwind of me trying to do multiple things with multiple mindsets, floating between maintaining focus as a designer during my final critique while also coming to the realization that OH MY GOSH CHRISTMAS IS NEXT WEEK.  It was an interesting day.

As soon as I finished my last final I had to go back to my dorm to pack and check out my suite.  Per tradition of semesters past, of course I ended up listening to Les Miserables.

Side note... it's very difficult to be productive when listening to Do You Hear The People Sing.

Once I finally made it home I began to tackle Mt. Laundry.  I found my knee socks (courtesy of the lovely Caitlin Cash) and decided to put them on my arms whilst putting away laundry.  I quickly became aware of the evolutionary advantage of thumbs because not having them while folding clothes is very difficult.  And frustrating.

To cap off my first half-day of Christmas freedom, Mama allowed me to open up the one-pound box of chocolates that she got as a gift from one of her students.  It was about as big and wonderful as you would imagine a one-pound box of chocolates to be.

To conclude, I'd like to apologize for the lack of posts recently.  You know the drill.  I've been busy.  Plus all of the creative work required by school sometimes leaves me a little dry in the idea department.  Or, let's just be honest here, I just got lazy about my favorite little side project.  I promise to do more than one entry this month though.  Heck, I might even do a weekly post.  We'll see.  For now, Merry Christmas and happy break!

behind the all-nighter

I want to start this off with a vote: do you like the body copy on my blog at this size?  I received some complaints recently on how small it is and how difficult it is to read (*cough* MOM *cough*), so I decided to bump up the point size to the next available setting in blogger (which is a bit huge to my eye, but maybe it works).  I also changed the typeface to something that hopefully reads a little bolder to the eye.  Anyways, when you're done reading this, please kindly comment below which you prefer (either in-post or on facebook/instagram is fine).  If you need a comparison, all of my other posts should still be at the original point size (though type will all be changed).  Much appreciated.

Moving on.  So, unfortunately, this post shall contain no doodles.  Heartbreaking, I know.  However, I wanted to share my latest project with you.  Most of you know that I've been working on a group project to make a magazine for my History of Graphic Design class.  My group was assigned the topic of Mid-Century Modern (MCM).  We could write our magazine on anything related to MCM, and we were given the option to make our publication look era-appropriate or not, as long as it works with our concept.  We published our work to Issuu.com, so the work is free to view for anybody.  It's a long magazine (108 pages!), but hey, we're designers, so if all you have time to do is flip through it, I can promise you it will still be enjoyable to look at.  I would, however, encourage you to please take the time to read the first 2 or 3 pages, as they introduce the magazine and explain the idea behind the whole project.  

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed making it!  Follow this link to take you to our publication on Issuu.com.  Thanks, and enjoy!

(postscript: if you're viewing Issuu.com on a mobile device, flip to view horizontally.  Otherwise you won't be able to view in spreads.)

Cover art

basically shark week

Gosh guys.  It's been a stressful two weeks.  Projects, papers, sickness, daddy's surgery, mishaps, isolation, an all nighter... I've seen better days.  There's been nothing yet in my college experience that I couldn't handle, but this week absolutely wore me out.  I felt okay for the most part of the week, but it wasn't until Thursday night/Friday morning that I truly felt how stressed out I've been.  Symptoms included, but were not limited to:

1. Stress blemishes.  They never fail to spangle my countenance in times when I really could benefit from the confidence of a clear complexion.  My solution?  A merciless declaration of war upon my own face.  It never ends well.

2. Poor attempts to contain one's emotional state.

3. Neglect of one's appearance and inevitable decline of self esteem.

4. Mandatory consumption of inordinate amounts of Moose Tracks ice cream.  It's that blasted fudge ripple, it gets me every time.

5. My first all nighter ever of all time.  Working on a group project with two awesome people on an awesome project.  It was kinda fun, in retrospect, though I'm pretty sure I had crazy eyes by the end of it.

6.  Acceptance of my own insignificance and lack of worth.

Basically, the last two weeks have been like Shark Week on the Discovery channel.  Lots of build up, very tense moments, and the jaws of life tearing into your sense of security.  

Ok so maybe it wasn't that bad, especially in retrospect.  It's that point in the semester when things are heating up a bit, and inevitably everything else comes crashing down at the same time.  Not being able to see friends, worrying about family, missing sleep, forgetting meals, and neglecting meaningful prayer takes a toll on the body as well as the mind.  

I'm happy to report, however, that after plenteous cuddles, hot beverages, and a bubble bath, I am largely recovered from my stressful week and am ready to kick some academic butt.  I just have to keep reminding myself that it's only a week and a half until Thanksgiving break.

Also, guys, thanks so much for 1,100+ page views!  I appreciate you reading my ugly blog :)