first impressions

First week of classes is done, and thus junior year has begun.  I'm currently taking 16 hours, and here are a few of my first impressions from the past few days.

Well, that about covers it.  Six classes, and every one of them is sure to be a huge source of inspiration, growth, challenge, and yes, stress.  But for better or worse, I'm in it for the long haul, and will continue to post so you all will get to witness every blunder, mishap, and victory along the way.

Cheers, prayers, and best wishes to all of us starting a new school year!

a brief intermission

Story time.

I was out the other day, minding my own business, when suddenly I noticed a girl who was standing near me.  In particular, I noticed what she was wearing.

And she wasn't the only one.

Given, all this occurred within a 2-3 second time frame, but basically that's what happened the other day when I worked a night shift when I was tired and sleepy.  My job is great, though it can be easy to zone out a little when you've been washing lettuce for an hour.  But normally it's not quite that bad.

Anyways, pretty soon it will be back to school, back to deadlines, and back to late nights in the studio, so I get to look forward to this kind of hazy and addled mindset for another three months.  Yay.

just keep swimming

Talk about your crummy summers.  It's been a doozie, folks.  If you want an update on what's been going on with our family this summer, check out loquaciously95.wordpress.com for updates.  Not only will you get an overview of Mabry happenings, but Maris is also a fantastic writer and personally one of my favorite fiction authors.  You should check out her stuff.

If you've been following our family this summer, you know it's been hard.  We've all struggled with depression, mostly on a daily basis.  It seems like just when things start to look up, something spirals back down again.  The opposite can be true as well though, it just takes a bit of work.  Everyone in my family is finding ways of coping with boredom, disappointment, depression, and anxiety.  For me, sometimes it's just being goofy that helps.

Last week I found myself in a grocery store parking lot, offering to take a motor scooter cart back to the store for an elderly lady who was trying to get into her car.  It was only after I had offered this gesture that she kindly informed me that you can't just push the darn thing... in order for the cart to move you have to actually sit down and drive it.  After a considerable pause and trying to casually half-ride, half-push the cart into the grocery store, I finally took the plunge and parked my perfectly stable and healthy 20-year-old tushie into that handicap scooter and drove that swagger-wagon right in through the front doors of the Food Lion.

It was very amusing.

I was closely followed by two hipster guys who seemed to
view my recreational vehicle as not quite mainstream enough

Another coping method I've been trying to motivate myself to participate in is the act of exercise.  Specifically, running.  In all honesty folks, it doesn't happen often.  And, when it does, it's not very long and not very enjoyable.  But it does provide a rather delightful mood-boost, which I guess is why anybody ever runs at all.  Basically my thought process from pre-run to post-fun goes as follows:

pre-workout

mid-workout

post-workout

And of course working out makes you want to look good.  Whenever I feel like I need a little polish or some beautifying de-stressing, I go to Maris.  Not only is she an extremely talented writer, she is also a gifted druid.

Just kidding.  But seriously, she does know how to concoct all sorts of natural and homeopathic health and beauty remedies.  One must merely peep around the corner of her zen garden bedroom and subtly reference the recent woes of digestion or modern dermatology or whatever ails you, and she bounces to attention, offering every kind of treatment, relevant or otherwise.

slight exaggeration.  in fact... she may or may
 not have ever actually said any of these things.

Occasionally I get the grumps and need to express frustration and aggression as well.  Silly pastimes and healthy habits are all good and well, but sometimes the anxiety and exhaustive emotion of recent goings-on has a tendency to build up.  Sometimes I choose to relieve these tensions on people, a habit I'm trying to break.  However, when I'm not raining down fury on unfortunate loved ones, I sometimes tend to release mild profanities in my head.  Most of these never see the light of day, but a few of them include, but are not limited to:

yes I know... shocking malediction indeed.

At the end of the day, however, there is no amount of driving scooters or working out or herbal baths or inventive vocabulary that fixes the problem.  I am continuously reminded that throughout this entire summer, and indeed, for all of my life, prayer is the only thing that keeps me going.  Having a relationship with Christ, the Great Healer and Shepherd, is the only way to make it though the trials of every day.  And so recently, and much later than everyone else in my family, I try to approach the day with the knowledge that God has a great plan for us, and that it all will work together for our good and His glory.  And sometimes, that means starting each day off with a cup of tea and the knowledge that you have absolutely no control over your life.

Surprisingly, that's a pretty good way to start the day.  I know it's been said many times already, but thanks to all of you who have been lifting us up in prayer daily.  Know that your prayers have been heard, and that through good and bad, you've made it better through the love of Christ.

bumville

Let's talk about self-esteem.  I think most of us can agree that it's a pretty good thing to have, either in concept or in practice.  

I have a weird sense of self esteem.  Behold, my mindset:

Now, I'm as much of an advocate of the whole "don't give a crap what others think" mentality as the next person, but hey, people matter, especially if those people are close to you and care about you.  Also, if they see you every day, like in college for instance. 

Did I mention that school starts up in two weeks?

I tend to enter college as my fabulously bummy self and I begin to doubt.  And feel shabby. Clueless and offensive.  A visual odor, if you will.  

Whether it's entering my suite...

Or working in my design studios....

Or going on a date....

I just feel underwhelming overall.  I'm constantly surrounded by amazing people (hint: it's probably you if you're reading this) and I want to be just as fantastic.  But I'm not.  At least, not in the same ways.  And you all know that.  And you surround me with encouragement and let me know that you accept me as I am, and even like me for it.

Whether it's entering my suite...

(sorry girls I was too lazy to draw you individually so I went generic)

Or working in my design studios...

fun fact: graphic design students are some of the most
constructively encouraging people you'll ever meet

Or going on a date...

bum acceptance = A+ keeper

Whether you fall into one of the categories above, or you're just one of those delightful people who graces me with a friendly smile when I awkwardly pass you in the hall, I just want to say thank you for choosing to be gracious and encouraging.  I may have scribbled out these comics in a way that aimed towards visual self esteem, but more often that not, it's the mental stuff that really hinders me.  But that's really hard to draw so I just went with sweats instead because WHY NOT.

So to all of you folks who are constantly re-affirming, complimentary, helpful, kind, hilarious, thoughtful, and positive, I just want to say thanks.  You are appreciated!

doodle bum says "i love you"

the great exchange of '15

Underwear is something most people wear.  Underwear is something most people prefer.  And underwear is something that most people, at some point, have to purchase.  Henceforth, as a freshly-minted 20-year-old, sometime last week I felt it was time for me to go forth and purchase some underwear for myself.  And, apparently, as a freshly-minted 20-year-old, I am inadequate at completing that task, because I bought the wrong kind.

Thus, it was upon the necessity to return said purchase and acquire the correct variety that I set forth on Saturday to complete my quest for underwear.  I happened to be accompanied by Benjamin (fondly referred to as Panda), who had kindly agreed to let me drive to Anderson with him for some errand-running.  And so my story begins, just me and my sister's boyfriend, walking into Target for the sole purpose of exchanging underwear.

At first, I tried to play it cool.  This wasn't weird, everybody has to buy undies from time to time, no biggie.

After negotiating the ridiculous variety of undergarments presented to me, I picked my poison and made a bee line for the exchange desk, where Benjamin was waiting for me to check out.  Just as we were approaching two employees walked up.  One male, and one female.  I desperately tried to project red-alert mental waves in an attempt to renew the pact of the girl-code with the female.

Alas, my efforts were in vain.  To my horror the male, an overly-groomed youth who was prettier than me, uttered those dreaded words.

I can help you over here.

With a deep breath I accepted my fate and responded to his invitation.

I placed my unmentionables on the counter and looked up.  GAHHHGGGGGG MAKE IT STOP.

Somewhere deep inside of me I summoned up the courage to look that pretty boy in the eye and communicate that I had purchased the wrong kind of undies.  

To his credit he maintained the same bored and lofty countenance the entire time.  I attempted to do the same.  With steely professionalism I stared Fabio down as he handled my granny-panties.

Slowwwwwwllllyyyyy he scanned those acursed packages and with bovine deftness he typed in the exchange.  Finally the trade-off was complete, and with little attempt at grace I fled the realm of the dreaded panty-scanner.

I walked away that day, with victory undies in hand and a giggling Panda by my side.  I can do anything now.